Click! Click! Damn!
I have been sitting here on a mission impossible, trying to solve this Rubik’s Cube. Every move that I make ends up being the wrong one. Maybe I should have twisted to the left one click instead of turning it all the way around? With no one else to curse on this gloomy weepy morning, I sigh and blame myself. It can’t be a sign of good times when I have to shoulder the burden of all my mistakes.
Life’s like that, isn’t it? Right when you think that everything is about to fall in place…Boom! it blows up in your face. Take that, sucker! And you find yourself gathering up the bits and pieces of sanity that remain splattered on the ground. Nothing makes sense. Everything works in slow motion, like viewed from behind doped out eyes. You know you are making some noise but it sounds garbled…like speaking underwater. All you know is that when everything is finally over, you’re lying on the floor. Trying to shove in great big breath fulls of air in your lungs before they collapse. Your fevered skin finds cool comfort in the arms of the rigid marble under you. And as the burning sensation behind your eyes finally dies out, you lose yourself in a numbing darkness.
Click! Twist! Click! Double damn!
I can’t believe I did it again. I’ve been going round and round the mulberry bush yet it still surprises me that I am right where I started off from. Nothing makes sense…oh! Have I said that before already? Well, it still holds true. Have you watched Inception? How everything is happening in such a complicated fashion and everyone else in the audience is watching so attentively as if they’ve grasped everything that’s happening….and how you sit there scratching your head and thinking what the hell? At least that’s how it was for me. And that’s how it is for me now.
It’s not only about the Cube that’s forever messing up my mind. It’s about everything else as well. Everyone seems to be moving on while I’m standing still. Like a hamster on its wheel, I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Nonstop. Eternal. It’s not that I don’t get it, I do. I just don’t know how to get off the damn wheel! I chase an elusive dream of peace and happiness while running on the path to doom. And mind you, not that all that running about in circles is doing anything great to my waistline. Nope. It’s all a downhill course. No benefits for me.
It’s not like this everyday. At least that’s what I hope. Some days I actually manage to solve the Cube and all the facets stare back from their divine perfection, as if in amazement. Then, I wake up. It was all a dream anyways, and my son would be late to school if I don’t join this stupid world immediately. So we’re back to the mystery of the Cube that refuses to give up it’s secrets. That tight-lipped wench. C’mon! A girl could use a break now and then!
The sun peeps out from behind its dark shower curtain and wipes off the few droplets that cling on to its glorious body. Like a wet dog, the world shakes itself, splattering the leaves with little jewels that shine when the sunrays touch them. Things look brighter after the gloom. Kinda like life’s giving everyone a second chance.
I pick up the Cube hopefully and twist.